kiss rewrite
my rewrite of the passage below:
Crystal took a deep breath, her heart was pounding in her ears.
She stared into Bens eyes and lost her breath again as he gazed down
into her own eyes.
She could feel the heat of his body giving out a mesmerising mix of
cologne and manliness. Her own body was warmed by his and she was
feeling
hot, very hot. Ben pulled her tighter and she melted into his arms.
He was so aware of her perfume and in tune to the rythmn of her body
that there seemed an iresistable force between them . Time seemed to
stop,they could have been the only two people on the planet and
there was no going back . Ben leaned back
against the door while Crystal leaned into him still looking deeply
intohis eyes. Their lips met ,Crystal closed her eyes, breathed in
Bens breath and let herself go, feeling the rythm of her body mirror
his as they went deeper still his fingers making her desire grow and
the kiss deepen.
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prompt:
Crystal took a deep, deep, deep breath...one
that filled her tight burning lungs to over
flowing and then some. This time was right!
She stared into Bens eyes, lost in the purple
glow of his gaze. She could feel the heat of
his firm body. The won't of her soft body. She
was to hot: way to hot. "I need you now, she
yelled." "Take me."
Ben pulled her tighter, and she thrilled in
his strong embrace. He could smell her cent,
fill her willingness. This would be there night.
There was no going back now. He leaned back
against the doors' firmness, his back pressing
into it, pulling her with him. When there lips
meet, it was heaven on earth.
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rewrite Ben and Crystal's first kiss. Fix
all of my mistakes, the grammar, the head hopping,
the sappy writing, ect....and make it worth reading.
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Mothers Day
Happy mothers Day to all the mums in 20six 
My daughter brought me in a cuppa and crumpets with honey, her dad looked mourneful beside me ,so she got him one too.
Danny wanted to shout me KFC and eat it in the park, but he had no money LOL and Ben rang me from ACT. First mothers day without all my kids at home. And the first mothers day without my mum. That was hard. Will ring my sister today to see how she coped.
My heart went out to Sophie Delezio's parents as they spend another mothers day with her in hospital. How much can one family take. everyone in Australia knows who sophie is but for the other nations who don't :In December 2003, Sophie lost both feet, some fingers and suffered third degree burns to 85 per cent of her body when she was trapped under a car that crashed into her Childcare Centre .On friday a week ago she was hit by a car on a pedestrian crossing in Sydney.Her jaw and shoulder bone were broken, her head was bruised, and she had rib fractures and bleeding around her left lung.She was in a critical condition which is downgraded to serious now, but she is still on a ventilator.
My prayers go out to her and her family.Their problems make mine look piddling.
Hope everyone had a nice weekend.
cheers
Hannahs miserable life
This prompt caught my eye and I gave Hanna an aussie voice
Hanna clutched the small cell phone and tried to keep her voice steady but
angry. "I don't understand how you can be this way, Victor, act this way,
about your own baby. About helping him, me." She wouldn't give him the
pleasure of knowing he had broken her again.
"You say my baby. I say there's no tellings who the daddy is. From what I
heard, might even be Tommy's. If you really are stuck, call one of your
other men for help."
His own brother. So, he would even accuse her of him. Suddenly she was
tired. No, she was exhausted.
Hanna had wanted her child to have a chance to at least get to know his
father, but now she realized how foolish that was, how foolish she had been
about everything. Especially about falling for Victor Graham. Even about
thinking he would help her now.
"You know what, Victor. You're right. This baby isn't yours. It's mine. You
don't ever have to worry about him or me again." She didn't give him a
chance to answer, she simply snapped the cell phone closed and tossed it on
the empty passenger seat.
She dashed away her tears and stared at the windshield into the night.
When the blowout had happened, she had managed to pull over onto the grassy
shoulder of the highway without ending up in a ditch or a farmer's field,
but she was still in a fix. She knew her spare was in bad shape, and her
shape -- baby two days over due -- meant she wasn't going to be changing a
tire without help. It was dark, getting colder, and not one car had driving
by in at least ten minutes.
There had to be someone she could call, but there wasn't a soul she could
think of. She didn't have a credit card. There was less than fifty dollars
in her checking account, and a twenty, a five and a one dollar bill in her
purse. Her cell phone was almost dead, her charger wasn't working. The only
person she knew who would help her was...
No one within a four hour drive from where she was.
The old apartment she had shared with Victor for the last two years was less
than an hour behind her, but Victor hadn't been the kind of man that liked
her to make friends. His friends and family sure wouldn't lift a finger to
help her.
There was nothing that could be done about it. She was going to have to
change that tire on her own, then hope the spare held, hoped her nearly full
tank of gas carried her far, and that her cash got her a little further,
then she would call her mom and wait in some safe mall or truck stop until
her family showed up to get her.
Tired, cold, and not feeling well at all, she climbed out of the car after a
little bit of a struggle to get out from behind the wheel, and headed around
to the trunk.
She knew she shouldn't be driving at all, much less alone in the middle of
the night in the middle of no where. She leaned back against the car and
rubbed a hand over her stomach. "You really have one smart cookie for a
mommy, sweetheart." She had made a mess out of her life. She was determined
that she would set things on the right path for her baby.
END PROMPT
Thats if she ever got out of here. Struggling with the key with cold fingers, Hanna popped open the boot and lifted the carpet to get at the spare.
She struggled to get the tyre upright so she could roll it over the top of the boot and drop it to the ground. Panting ,cold and exhausted,she waited for that satisfied "bong" sound as the trye hit the ground, only to hear a dull plop. "Great, the spares flat!" Hanna sobbed quietly, "why?" she thought, did I just take off like that without thinking just a little? Heading for Melbourne in the middle of the night was a good idea...NOT. Bloody Victor, he had made her so angry,she could not think straight and could not stay there another minute,so she had grabed an armful of stuff and ran. Now,she didn't know whether to sit in the car or stay standing near it, but how long she could stand was another matter, with her great belly and swollen feet, not to mention ,she was just buggered from the long day and the stress.Hannah couldn't understand why there were no trucks passing, they are famous for speeding throught he night,she thought, but she had taken the coastal road and not the Hume Hwy, so there may not be any cars til morning.Walking was out of the question, she was between towns which meant at least a half hour drive ,let alone walk,iether way, on a windy narrow road.Forget it,she thought.Starting to shiver, she headed for the drivers seat, she thought that she would be able to hear a car or truck before it got to her and jump.......well slide out ,in time to be seen. Just as she was about to slide in she heard a car and saw headlights. Waving madly, she tried to get the drivers attention"Im sure that won't be hard the way I look"She hoped she didn't shock someone into running off the road"that'd just make my day", she laughed."My luck it'll be the next Ivan Milat" "Don't think like that" she scolded herself, "you are going to have to trust someone".The car , an average late model Ford, had pulled up in front of her car. A man got out of hte car and headed her way. "Looks like you're in a spot of trouble ,love" "Can I give you a hand?" "Thanks for stopping, but don't call me, love!" she looked emabarrrased as she spoke.He laughed."I'm Trav, by the way, whatever I can do to help, I will." "Well, my spares had it,so I really need a lift into town."Trav looked thoughful,"there'll be nothing open until 9 in the morning,so...mmmm....my mum lives not too far from here, I'll take you there if you like and we can come back for the car in the morning."" I know" he said,grinning" I'm your worst nightmare, an Aboriginal on a lonely road,in the middle of the night" Hannah looked into the deepest brown eyes she had ever seen"don't be ridiculous , a hand is a hand"It was hard to see what he really looked like, by the light of headlight, but she though he looked like a tv superhero...strong sqaure jaw, tall, well muscled, only brown skinned and this is definately not the time to be thinking these thoughts she laughed to herself.Oohhwah she thought, I think I've laughed too hard. Hannah felt the baby move rapidly, felt a pop and then a gush of warm liquid ran down her legs. "Great" she thoght, ":this is not happening...NOT not out here in the middle of nowhere with a stanger, please NO."
"Um, Tav, I need to tell you something" Trav had already noticed the steam rising from her lowere end and said " well thats it then, Mum's it is." Okay, make it quick? she replied.Trav hesitated" I need to tell you something too....mum lives on a mission, I study in Canberra and am heading there to visit for the weekend.I promise you, you'll be well looked after.In fact you will be wishing for some alone time....very soon.
Big Brother is back..........
well for the next 3 months you will know where I am at 7pm weekdays...........
I can't beleive we are at the end of April and I haven't been here since the middle of march.
I had my Dad to stay for just over a week, after he had been to my siters for 2. in those 3 -4 weeks he had 3 showers. It's apparantly too cold down here to shower early in the morning and by the end of the day he's has decided hedidn't need one, he'd had a wash.His feet............nevermind...............
He did his usual rain on our parade thing. I am very proud of the work, we, (mainly Les) has done on the house. All he could see was a color change. Bah grrr and that a veranhdah board was missing and someone could trip..................He insulted everyone in the guise of a joke befor ehe left. To Gemma" wil you fit into lst years clothes?" to Danny " if you get up earlier you might play better football" and to hubby whose hospitality he had all week" you need to lose a few pounds there, your stomach is very big, not good for your helath" Oh and he was glad I didn't get the loan for the cafe as I'm not business minded" I had to remember why he was at my house at all, which was because he had to get a way when mum died. So i had to bite my tongue....but it was hard.
Btw here is the before and after of the house....paint change???
Another day .......another dollar......mmmm 500 dollars SPENT
Back to normal it seems. My bits have all healed and I apparantly never need to see a gyneacologist again, he more or less told me to piss off home,don't come back. okay by me, no more knees up for the dreaded pap smear.Yay.
Spent monday in Canberra.........all day. Drove in as the sunrose and drove out again as the sun was setting. Was fun though, met up with the lady I was in hospital with, we both had the same op and got on really well, so spend all day chatting about everything, seems I have found a kindred spirit as Ann of Green Gables was wont to say.
was so long at the doctors that on the way home passsed Ben at his bustop,so picked him up and had Maccas at his place for tea before I got the kids pizzas and headed home.
I was exhausted it's the longest day I've had since the surgery/infection/arthritismeds, but everyday I have more energy and am doing more.
aaaaaaaaaarggggggggg got the phone bill yesterday, the youngest, Danny ticked up $190 in calls to his new girlfriends mobile in ONE DAY! I rang telstra to find out what might be on the next bill, there is another $150 in calls to that number. This is my quiet son, that never talks...........
Then today I got the electricity bill...............you don't want to know.....................okay..............................$500............OUCH. Air conditioning added up I guess.But it has been so hot, in the 30's and sometimes 40's since 2 weeks before xmas,I think until this week we have had one cool day and no rain for 4 months. It was soooo nice to hear rain on the iron roof this morning when I woke up.
Still haven't ahd a cigarette, though am tempted once a day.
Have added one more tablet to my pile, I had high blood pressure in hospital, and it hasn't gone down,so I've started the BP tabs yesterday.
unfunilly enough my dad also stared Blood pressure tablets yeaterday, he is at my sisters at Bermagui on the lovely south coast of NSW , he had three TIA like attacks over the day where he was blank and speechless and my sister took him to the Doctor,his BP was throught he roof. It is apparantly stress from the grief,losing mum. Every day he plays over the last month and the last day of her life. He repeats the story of that day - every day, my sister is having a hard time with it actually, and it's like a post traumatic stress type thing,so hes constantly anxious. he is coming to me next week, I'm not looking oforward to it, because it will be all so raw again. We are a bit concerned that he has to drive all the way back to Queensland in 3 weeks time. Don't know what to do about that.If his BP is still up ,might have to get my BIL to come down and drive him back up., but hopefully the tabls will work,ity's a long drive when you're 70.He thinks having a mobile phone he's ok.
The other cafe in town is on the market. It is more upmarket, everything is done,decor etc equipment all there,comes with a morris ute LOL anyway thaey want $50,000 for the business, no building this time. Hubby's gone off the idea, but I would still like to do something, will wait a bit an see how our health develops, if it goes, it goes.
Hubby has his stent out Wed week,so he will be off color for a few weeks again, then he has to go to sydney ot have the kidney stones smashed by sonic boom LOL or whatever it is, now THAT sounds painful, if they are all smashed to bits in your kidney, that means you have to pee the bits out!!!
with that nasty though I'm off!!!
Just to drive you nuts:)
count the guys and wait for it to change and count them again...............................No I can't figure it out either.